Tips And Tricks To Survive The Chicago Winter

2018 is here, and it's cold as heck. Here are some secret tips'n'tricks I have personally accrued over my years in Chicago. Hopefully you use them to make it through the winter!   Get a heater!   Do not make eye contact with those cruel, conniving snow gremlins if you value your well-being, and the…

Advertisements

Nation In Disbelief That Alabama Did Not Elect A Pedophile

After an extremely publicized nail-biter of a senate race, the nation is in complete and utter disbelief that Alabama willingly elected democrat Doug Jones over accused serial child-molester Roy Moore. “I was so absolutely sure that Alabama was going to choose a pedophile that preyed on teenage girls through the span of decades over the…

A Letter To Prospective Students

Dear Prospective Students, First and foremost, congratulations on getting into The University of Chicago. Our college is world-renowned, featuring a prestigious history an unrivaled dedication to education. As people who have braved some of the lowest recorded acceptance rates, you are all magnificent, and you will assuredly become even more magnificent in the future. When you…