Bruised, Battered Shopper Saves Just Enough Money On Black Friday To Pay For Medical Bills

In an amazing turn of events, local chiropractor Kayla Stevens managed to save just enough money hunting for massive sales on Black Friday to pay for each and every medical bill incurred from injuries received hunting for sales on Black Friday. “The joy of finding an amazing deal on premiere electronic goods always outweighed the…

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A Letter To Prospective Students

Dear Prospective Students, First and foremost, congratulations on getting into The University of Chicago. Our college is world-renowned, featuring a prestigious history an unrivaled dedication to education. As people who have braved some of the lowest recorded acceptance rates, you are all magnificent, and you will assuredly become even more magnificent in the future. When you…